Podcaster Karen Arthur on Surviving Menopause

Photo by Rich Barr

By Hillary Crosley Coker

Tired of seeing experiences like hers “get flipping ignored,” Karen Arthur took up the cause of menopause. The 60-year-old Bajan British activist and host of the Menopause Whilst Black podcast was inspired by the activism catalyzed during early Covid lockdown and debuted her show in 2020. She didn’t want other Black people blindsided by “the change,” as her mother calls it. Now in its fourth season, Arthur’s podcast has created a place where Black women are supported, and their experiences are centered.

It’s a much-needed dialogue. Black women experience menopause up to two years earlier than white women and suffer symptoms, especially hot flashes, for longer. But we are less likely to receive hormone replacement therapy to help ease symptoms, according to comprehensive data released in December. Mental health can also suffer in perimenopause, which isn’t as widely known, and the experience may catch some off-guard. And while menopause talk has gone mainstream, the faces of the conversation tend to be white. For Arthur, as a dance teacher and then a head of house (something like a school principal) for 28 years — as well as a single mother of two girls — the changes came as a shock. Her mental health suffered, she had suicidal thoughts, lost her joy, and left her career but never connected these troubles to menopause.  

She sought medical help, seeing both Western and holistic providers. She took inventory of her diet and personal needs and put herself back together, realizing, along the way, that stories like hers need to be told. Now, Arthur speaks with her pod guests about their journeys, and has given expert commentary online and in the docuseries “Sex, Myths and the Menopause.” 

“Age is a privilege, menopause is a privilege,” Arthur says. “I've done more in the last eight years since I left my 28-year career because I made a conscious decision to only do the things that I love for however many years I’ve got left on this planet. I am having the time of my fucking life.”

More on menopause disparities and Arthur’s plea to find your joy, below. 

Why do you think Black women suffer more from menopause?

I have my own theories. Stress exacerbates menopause, and racism is a form of stress, which we know from the research Arline Geronimus did on racial “weathering.” She found the impact of living in a white supremacist racist society can shorten our life [expectancy]. From Black women being more likely to die in childbirth to Black folks dying at a higher rate of Covid than whites at the beginning of the pandemic, our health outcomes are shot. We know that medical racism is a factor and when we do go to the doctor, we get flipping ignored, so why would menopause be any different?

My solution is rest. I founded The Joy Retreat in Barbados, which is the world's first retreat just for Black people going through menopause. It’s a week of learning how to bloody rest because we don't know how to do it and we're never rewarded for it. I follow the Nap Ministry religiously and Omisade Burney-Scott, who runs Black Girls Guide to Surviving Menopause in the US. We’re mates and she started her podcast before me. I wanted mine to be from a Black British perspective, which has never been done before. 

You’ve said that you didn’t realize you were menopausal until much later. Looking back, what were your earliest symptoms? 

I didn’t know that brain fog, tingly legs, [poor] spatial awareness, or my poor mental well-being could be linked to menopause. I just thought, I’m a strong, capable Black woman who is very good at my job, but I can’t do it anymore. I’m scared to tell anybody, no one is mentioning menopause so I’m not going to. I had panic attacks and forgot meetings. Then, my two daughters went to university and they had been my world. I’d split from my partner about 10 years previously so for the first time in my life, I was alone at 51. The days are getting longer and my periods have stopped. I did not like my life. I googled my symptoms, and thought I was dying. 

One night, I burst into tears for 20 mins because I didn’t want to go to bed — it’d just bring the next day quicker. I was eventually diagnosed with anxiety and depression. Then I fell, and the right side of my body started to seize up. I went to the doctor and she offered me anti-depressants, but I refused because I wanted to try something herbal, like my Bajan mother who swears by lavender and bush tea. I said, if that doesn’t work, I’ll be back. I kept ignoring my symptoms and I got worse! I withdrew, wore black and didn’t want to dance or take pride in my appearance. I’d lost the will to do all of the creative stuff I loved.

How’d you heal yourself?

I went to an herbalist, did mindful meditation, and saw a Black woman therapist. I thought I’d go to therapy for six weeks and then I’d be fixed. That is not how therapy works! Therapy was the best gift I’ve ever given to myself. I felt better and made conscious decisions to wear what made me feel good, and write my book, 8 Ways to Wear Your Happy, about fashion, mental well-being, and menopause. 

Do you take hormone replacement therapy now? 

Yes, but I didn’t start until I was 59 because my 83-year-old mum was against it and research from 2002 said that it caused breast cancer. [Ed. note: That research has since been debunked.] We were scared. I thought HRT was for women who were afraid of getting older but I was embracing it. 

How else do you manage symptoms?

Black women are starting menopause up to two years earlier than our white counterparts and we have hot flashes for longer. I don’t like hot flashes, but if that’s the only thing that happens, I can live with that. I've changed my diet considerably. I don’t drink because [alcohol] brings them immediately [for me]. I exercise. The advice is that you should eat more protein, like with breakfast, because it’s more difficult to keep and make protein in our body as we get older and menopausal. 

You’ve said that American women are late to the HRT party, how’d UK women find out the 2002 research was wrong?

There was a TV program called The Truth about Menopause by [British journalist] Mariella Frostrup in 2018, and she and a few other celebrities have been lobbying parliament for menopause issues through The Menopause Mandate. Then, Davina McCall [of “Big Brother”] did a program called Sex, Myths and Menopause, which I’m in, in May 2020. I’m talking about the positive side of aging and how I had suicidal ideations and now, I’m happy. Suddenly menopause was all over the news and brands woke up to menopause money, which is good because it raises awareness — but it’s like adding “wedding” in front of anything, then you can charge more. 

Final words of advice? 

Keep your wits about you and find what works for you. HRT isn’t a magic pill. Once you figure out how foods trigger you, what exercise works for you, how you feel in certain clothing, how you feel around certain people and put boundaries in place, you will find it much easier to work out which menopause care is right for you, whether it's HRT or holistic treatment. The research now, though it's in its fledgling years, is much better. 

There are also camps of women. Women who believe that you have to have HRT, because menopause is a hormone deficiency, and there's something wrong with you. And there are other women who are like, no, it's a natural transition, and there are ways in which we can change what we eat and how we show up in the world, how we lower our stress levels. You know, release your job, said Beyoncé, all of that stuff. 

Our society's fixation with all things youth needs to get in the bin. Yeah, young people are great. It was great, being young. I don't want to be young again. [Now,] I do the things that fill me and bun the rest.