Supermodel Paulina Porizkova on Aging and Social Media
Image courtesy Paulina Porizkova.
By Denise K. James
Even if you aren’t following Paulina Porizkova on Instagram, her name likely rings a bell. The former supermodel turned author and influencer has graced numerous commercial magazine covers — Sports Illustrated for two consecutive years as well as Elle, Vogue, and others — and has modeled for brands like Revlon, Estée Lauder, Chanel, Versace, Hermes, and Oscar de la Renta. Like the other “supers” of the ‘80s and ‘90s, Paulina became somewhat of a household name; at one point, she was one of the world’s top-grossing models.
In 2019, Porizkova was shocked to find her husband, Ric Ocasek of The Cars, dead in his home following health issues. Though the two were finalizing a divorce at the time and had been separated since 2017, Porizkova found herself unmoored with grief and loneliness as the world began to grapple with the pandemic.
As she writes in her tell-all book, No Filter, of this time, “Every ounce of energy I had went into just functioning in front of my two kids. There was no energy left to make posts about gratitude on Instagram. This is when I began to share my grief. And sometimes my anger.”
Porizkova tells me that she felt compelled to share her emotional upheaval with her followers to “lighten the load by being unfiltered.”
Hence the title of her book. If you haven’t read No Filter, it’s a revealing memoir about her life and the modeling industry, including behavior from clients and photographers that we’d recognize today as flat-out sexual assault. She also reflects on age and beauty, and how “what is held up as the ideal of physical womanhood today … are the attributes of a teenager,” not a full-grown adult.
No Filter came out late last year, but the essays – particularly those surrounding grief, motherhood, and aging – feel evergreen. We spoke to her last month in Atlanta ahead of a signing event at Buckhead Village to ask her how she’s feeling about Instagram, aging in the public eye, and more.
You haven’t shied away from sharing your challenges on social media, including videos of you crying. Were you ever told you were oversharing?
Oh my God, yes! Initially, most of the people who told me I was ‘oversharing’ were actually friends who were somehow embarrassed for me. They felt I was embarrassing myself, my family, my children and, of course, them. That was a bit of a hard pill to swallow. We were also deep into Covid, and everyone was alone. I was in the shittiest place I could imagine. I thought, Okay, so you feel I’m oversharing? All I’m trying to do is find out I’m not as lonely as I feel. Sharing vulnerability is how you form connections.
There were some people who didn’t agree with me, and we fell out of talking for a bit. But they’ve since come back and said what I was doing was beautiful and that they were wrong.
What are your thoughts on how our culture fetishizes youth?
This has been true forever because of the patriarchal world we live in. And we take it on — we were brought up in it and we perpetuate it by participating. We don’t have a lot of avenues to suppress it, so I’m not surprised. . . . but it’s time to change things. It doesn’t need to remain this way for thousands of years just because it’s been this way for thousands. We have to adjust, as a society, to a new world.
The advent of the internet and social media has helped us find our place — but when you think you have your footing, it changes again. I’m a big fan of being the change you want to see. I follow women on Instagram with gray hair or wrinkles. We are drawn to authenticity, to those who struggle and work hard on being who they are.
How have you dealt with criticism, particularly in regards to aging?
Naysayers and trolls want to shame an older woman for daring to feel sexy or comfortable in her own skin. If you’re a woman, you’re perpetually shamed for everything. But that, to me, is not even particularly hurtful because it’s shame on their part — they are ashamed of themselves. That’s not my problem, and I refuse to go down the path of shame. It’s something I’ve worked hard on and keep working on.
Women also shame other women, which is such a sad thing. The beauty of entering your 50s is knowing you don’t have to participate. You can be generous and not knock other women down.
I have a ton of doubts and fears and am not confident on a daily basis! I struggle as much as anyone else does. To a certain extent, I believe in faking confidence until I make it. That’s not changing myself to be the person others want me to be but thinking I am confident until I acquire it. I am more confident now than 10 years ago, so it does work.
How has it felt to age in the public eye, particularly since your career was rooted in your youth and beauty?
I know market-wise, I am not considered as beautiful as I once was. My sagginess and cellulite and wrinkles are flaws — but I like myself better. With getting older comes the confidence I’ve been missing and that I’ve admired in other women.
Now, at 58, I feel like I’m becoming the woman I always wanted to be. The remarkable thing about this is realizing life can get better instead of worse. We actually do have things to look forward to. At this age, I am liking myself more, feeling more confident and appreciating everything. And I’ve fallen in love with the most incredible man! I am starting a whole new chapter of the life I always wanted to have. There’s hope in that.